YAY BRETT! GO JETS!


(still though, he looks best in the green and gold. Its his home. But I'm happy he did well last night. I just wish I had been able to see it on TV. Apparently, sometimes living in WI sucks.)

"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" - Phelps.

The Americans smashed the French. They talked shit, we got it done. HELL YES.

USA. Enough said.

GO AMERICA!

I don't know what emotion to put for this entry. Sad...depressed...crushed...empty.

I thought the hardest part was saying goodbye the first time.

Now I think it's saying goodbye for the second time.

I thought the last time I'd cry over this football player was March 4th. Turns out it might be August 5th. I spent most of the day in shock...and anger...and most of all, just sadness. Sadness.

I cried when I found out that Brett just isn't coming back. I cried because...I believed he was going to. And..he's hurting and the team is hurting and the fans are hurting. The team is divided, the fans are angry and sad and confused. Its such a mess. And it breaks my heart because I remember in March when he retired, everything was sad but the difference there was...he was still loved by the Packer faithful.

Now, most want him gone. And that just rips my heart out, just as much as the thought of him leaving does. The way people talk about him now is...well, its pretty bad. And for some of it, he is to blame, certainly. He didn't handle it the best way.

But it makes me sad that we so quickly dismiss the man who brought this team into an era of winning. The superbowl. The ultimate prize.

I don't know if we'll ever really know what happened yesterday or today, or in these past few months. Who was right, or who was wrong....who lied and who told the truth.

I don't know if Brett didn't want to play in GB anymore, or if the coaches truly didn't want him back. Or maybe both.

But what I do know is, that what I thought would never, ever, happen...that Brett would leave the Packers for another team...is about to come true. Brett will no longer be a Packer. The relationship between player and team is fractured beyond repair.

Its sad. Its hard for me. Maybe because he's been the packer QB since I was 3 years old. Maybe because, he signed a 'lifetime contract' (non binding, just a symbol of his committment) and always expressed his loyalty to this team. Maybe because he always took less money than he could have gotten, just to stay in GB. Maybe because I fear what this will do to his legacy in Green Bay. Or maybe because, I grew up with him, and attached to him I have so many great childhood memories.

I suspect it is a combination of all of those factors.

But what I do know is, I'll miss Brett, anyway. And this is a hard, hard thing to feel. I feel lied to, confused, betrayed, lost, angry, disappointed. By Brett, and by the Packer management.

I don't know if Brett really wanted to come back to Green Bay, when he got off that plane....reports say he did, but something may have happened in that 5 hour meeting that changed his mind.

I have a gut instinct that he is simply to emotional and hurt by Packer management to ever return to the Pack. And that is just the hard reality of this.

I wish we would know the truth of what happened. Did he want to play for the packers or not? What happened in that 5 hour conversation? Who was more angry with who? Who really wasn't committed?

But I doubt we ever will really know the truth.

Its just a game...just a player. But for 16 years he was there, every sunday. Mr. Reliable. The Pope of Green Bay. Our legend, our hero. He was made out to be bigger than the team, bigger than any one person should be. And with that comes the idol status.

Its probably my fault that I got wrapped up in it all these years...but what can you do, when you see him for 16 straight years and the guy is just...he was great, right up until all of this. He was funny, down to earth, a LEGEND at his sport.

What hurts the most though, is this:

He was gone, retired. And then, it was like the impossible was possible...he could COME BACK. And I thought, I really thought, he would come back to us. And now he is not, for reasons unknown. But the bottom line, its like he was gone forever, and in a flash we had him and lost him again. And I have to say goodbye all over again. The feelings I had when he first retired are all dug up again. I had moved on, I wasn't sad over this anymore, and now...it all reminds me again.

It's lame that I'm crying as I write this. That I know. But I can't help it. I just keep crying.

This is so...sad. Its so sad. For Brett, for the Packers, for the fans. The relationship is destroyed. Its just...destroyed. But I wanted to write this entry because I don't know what else to say about this situation. Its painful for me. That probably sounds silly to non football fans. I get that...I'd probably be confused too if you were not committed to a player like I've been to Brett.

This feels surreal, but its real. This is reality. Brett will move on. The Packers will move on. I'll have to move on, too.

Best of luck in the future Brett. You'll never read this...I know. But, I just wanted to say goodbye to you, for the last time. Because I'm sorry how this all went down, but, no matter what, I will always remember everything you did for WI and for the team. I can only hope, that in the future, you can come back to GB and sign a one day contract, if only to retire a packer. Because that is how I'll remember you and love you.

As a Green Bay Packer.

♥







Goodbye, Brett.

"It's gonna hurt when it heals, too" - Leona Lewis

Brett and David.

*flail*